Hey guys! After a few months of blogging the square root of sod all, we're back with our review of this year's Eurovision Song Contest entries. It's a joint effort this time, though we did have the help of a Twitter friend for this.
Enjoy.
Albania: Someone call the Albanian rozzers - Rona's screeching her way through a song and it sounds like she's murdering a cat! NEXT!
Austria: The song (if you can even CALL it that) certainly lives up to the band's name - it's AWFUL! Well done for getting 'Trackshittaz' past the censors. You said it, lads, not us.
Azerbaijan: We can't help but think that Azerbaijan won't be hosting Eurovision for the second year in a row next year. Still, in the short space of time they had to build the venue in the first place, we can't say we blame them. Good effort though.
Belarus: Brilliant song and their lead singer's not bad either! OOF!
Belgium: No, Iris, we wouldn't, but at least the music and instruments are back!
Bosnia-Herzegovina: This is a bit better than last year's song but not much. We still have no idea what the guy in the dressing gown was singing about...
Bulgaria: An up-tempo techno disaster that will probably struggle in the semis. Sorry Bulgaria!
Croatia: If we were Nina Badrić, we wouldn't make a weekend out of it. The song is a bit dull and boring to be fair.
Cyprus: Is that Liv Tyler singing for Cyprus? No, it's Ivi Adamou! Good song though, even if a little repetitive in places, and an almost-certain qualifier.
Denmark: SOLUNAAAAAA! Excellent song and we're hoping to make the final again this year!
Estonia: URGH! Sorry, Ott but, not only does your name sound like a country, your song is BORING! NEXT!
Finland: We actually like this one even though one of us doesn't have a clue what she's singing about (only one of us speaks Swedish). Not sure it'll make the final this year however but, then, we'll probably be too drunk to care anyway!
France: Will dual-language work for the French? It's not bad but it's not good either so Eurovision probably won't be held in Paris any time soon.
FYR Macedonia: Gravelly-voiced rock song? We think not. See you in the semis.
Georgia: A joker and a walker? Yes, you are with this rather rubbish song, and it's not much better than last year's shoutathon! Don't expect qualification this year, Georgia!
Germany: OOF! A bit of German goodness and he can sing as well! LOVE IT!
Greece: Repetitive and dreadful, a bit like the Ukraine, but at least it's better than last year's tuneless shit!
Hungary: Were Savage Garden unavailable? Still, we like Darren Hayes and Daniel Jones, so it's not all bad - and this song isn't too bad either!
Iceland: JÓNSI IS BACK! And he has a good song too! Not sure it'll win though - there's far too much competition at the top again this year.
Ireland: We had rather enough of these two annoying clowns last year, thank you very much! Our ears can't take any more of them! GET OFF THE STAGE! NEXT!
Israel: Quick, someone call Dana International, this song's SHIT!
Part two coming up...
