Our dearest Anthony.
I have the heaviest heart and tears streaming down my face as I write this. It's now seven hours since you and Owen were reunited up in Heaven and I already feel lost without my best friend and brother-in-law by my side. We're all sitting here reminiscing about the good times by looking at old photographs, listening to music you both loved, and remembering the good old days. I knew you for nearly twenty years and I would have loved to have spent twenty more years with you but, tragically, that'll never happen now. Your sudden death this morning sent shockwaves through the system and it somehow feels weird. I'll never see your face light up a room any more and that breaks my heart, especially knowing that it's the eve of your little lad's birthday, and he won't have his daddy by his side to open his cards and presents.
By the way, don't worry about Jonas. Marin has taken him in and will look after him for you. We'll take care of things down here whilst you look down on us. I've also attached your ring to that little ashes necklace of yours. I knew you were waiting for your man to get there before you left this world forever. I just put the necklace in your hand, made a tight fist so you could hold it, then your heart finally gave up and you went into the white light to be reunited with your gorgeous ebony-haired man.
So many things are about to change and I don't know how I'm going to do it on my own. You died just two short days after Caroline was also tragically taken. Feel free to give me a kick up the arse if I get things wrong or I get too upset. I promise that I'll try my absolute best. You will be missed by so many people and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers wherever I can. I'll also raise a glass or two on your birthday in December. You were only 43. You had so much to live for but your heart just wasn't in it any more.
So, for now, that's all. I will try to enjoy life with the rest of our family and friends but it won't be easy. A piece of my jigsaw is missing without you in it and live will never be the same again as we know it without you being part of it.
Sleep easy, darl, and say hello to Paul for me if you bump into him up there. You'll always have a place in my heart until the day we finally meet again.
All my love,
Rachael (and Elisa). xx
